Being involved in a some sort of church has been a part of my life in some way, shape, or form since I came out of my mother’s womb. I have heard a lot of lingo when it comes to successfully defining a “healthy church.” Although there are differences of opinions out there, I am going to try and promote one aspect that should not be neglected. There are different terms used to define what a “healthy church” must look like that have become quite cliche’. I’m sure you have heard “seeker friendly,” “gospel centered,” and who could forget the ever so popular “emergent” movement. These terms must be thought out well and have a definition behind them. So, pastors and staff get together and use sayings like “We need to be strategic in our approach,” or “There must be some intentionality behind our motive.”–Which, by the way, is very important. I just said those things because they make me feel smart!
Why? Well, I am here to sell you, or convince you, or prove to you why a community group is so important. When you think of a community group, some of you might be thinking “Oh, great, another cliche’ term!” or “I have been to one of those and it wasn’t pretty”. Before you exit out of the blog, will you give me a chance to tell our story?
I realize that when you hear the term “community group,” it might send a chill down your spine because you think that you are going to have to spend time with people you don’t know and hear about how awesome their lives are compared to your life. Or, you might be thinking that they might ask you personal questions! Although, I can’t promise you that won’t happen, I want to give you a metaphor to think about. Remember that first time you were standing at the base of a giant roller coaster, and you were seriously scared out of your mind to get on it (for me it’s every time I stand at a roller coaster)! You get on. Your heart is about to pump out of your chest. The coaster starts to climb. The jerks then pause the stupid thing at the top. Then the RELEASE…..AAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!! When you get at the bottom of it, you’re thinking that was the most fun thing you have ever done! Ya, that’s kinda like community group!
The truth of the Gospel of Christ is that we are a mess. We are big sinners who need a BIGGER SAVIOR to rescue us. After rescuing us, God’s plan was to bring these needy “sheep” together and let them see that everyone that is a part of His Kingdom is a mess without Him (By the way, sheep are really dumb animals and need a Shepherd to guide them because they can’t make it without Him.) Sure, in this kingdom the messes that we bring might look differently. Some have financial mistakes, some have lust issues, some have marriage problems, some have parenting problems, some are just plan WEIRD! The commonality that we all have in God’s Kingdom is that we have the same Gospel, the same Savior, the same plan to run to–to fix us.
For my wife and me , this started at our current church back in November of 2012. We got invited to our first community group. We were anxious but at the same time curious to see what would eventually pan out. It started with some food and a bunch of people standing around who had already known each other. It was a little awkward because we were trying to start conversations with people not knowing what they were bringing to the table. The conversations were a little forced, and it was a little strange. We were both thinking to ourselves, “This is not working.” We knew before the night began that we were watching a video series. So, we both were thinking “If we can just get to the video–that way we don’t have to talk. We can just listen.” They started the video and we were like YES! Now we were trying to strategically think about how to exit when the video was over.
Then something happened. The video was about marriage which was fitting because we were all couples. I started thinking to myself, “Well, this should be fun. This guy will point out some cool things to do to strengthen and maybe even spice things up a little in my marriage”. Um, ya. That didn’t happen. In fact, one of the first lines in this video was pointing out that the problems that arise in marriage are worship problems. We love to worship ourselves rather than God which makes us selfish, needy, spoiled, and in pursuit of OUR NEEDS , rather than pursuing the needs of my Spouse.
OUCH! In my mind I started thinking, “He’s talking to me! I’ve been exposed! These people’s marriages are perfect and I just got exposed in front of my wife.” I could feel the “Are you listening to this, Steve?” coming from my wife’s demeanor!!!! The 30-minute video ended (which felt like an eternity), and my worst nightmare happened. They wanted to talk about it (remember that pause part at the top of the roller coaster?!?!?!?)
They started with one couple, and I could tell right away that they were going to go around the room. I was nervous. Scared. Should I fake a stomach cramp, maybe a pulled hammy, etc??? Then something amazing happened. The couples starting talking about their struggles. Sure, there were some pointing out of things that the other spouse was guilty of, but the beauty of the confrontation was at the end of each one; they were both brought back to the reality that they were both guilty of selfish motives in the marriage and were both in desperate need of Jesus’ forgiveness and strength. What my wife and I saw was vulnerability, and it was BEAUTIFUL. Anger, humor, and love were expressed. One couple remarked that they had just gotten into it on the drive over!–And they admitted it! What we saw was real. We prayed and cried out to God for help in our marriages! Again, it was BEAUTIFUL!
When it was time to go, we were hugging one another and already preparing for the next time we were going to meet. Trisha and I got into our car and started driving home. We both started to cry because we were so happy that we now had an outlet to talk about struggles, and life. Those tears quickly turned into laughter thinking about some of the things the other couples said (What happens in community group stays in community group)! The consensus????? Man, we suck at marriage and parenting! But it’s OK because so do they!!!! We all might suck, but we have a Savior who refuses to leave us that way. He wants us to come to Him in a vulnerable way and say to him that we are dumb sheep in need of a Shepherd. We do not have anything figured out, but we have Savior who wants us that way so that we can rest in Him!
Granted, not every community group looks that way; but I know that when you get around a bunch of needy sheep looking to their Shepherd, you start to see the commonality we all have. If you’re not in a community group, I highly recommend your finding one! God made us relationally needy. It was his plan. When you are fighting against it you are swimming upstream. It’s exhausting.
Remember what I said about the roller coaster. When I got to the bottom of it, I realized that the ride was so worth it. Our community group is one of the best things that has happened to us. It has definitely been worth it!